People Can’t Make You Crazy If You Don’t Give Them the Keys by Dr Mike Bechtle
Everyone Should Be Like Me – We think there would be less drama if everyone is like us. People are unique and have their own DNA, their own path, and therefore cannot be like us.
Let People Do What They are Good At – The best way to deal with others who add arguments and drama to our lives is to find out what they are good at and encourage them to make that thing better. We might even try to find ways to make them better at that thing.
How to Speak Without Reaction – We must learn to speak calmly and without the inner emotion, we are feeling. That hint in our voice could cause more drama if we play out our emotions.
Temperament vs Behavior – Temperament has to do with the nature of the other person. They might behave badly or with anger without being bad people or angry people. We must realize they might act in a certain way for other reasons.
Reaction vs Response – Your reaction might be hurt or anger or other emotions. It helps if you can learn to control that. But your response is how you act towards other people, and you must control this. You might act in a way that causes permanent damage to that relationship that you will regret.
Control Your Emotions – In the end, you can control your emotions, so your behavior and your response are kept in check naturally. You feel more relaxed and not a victim of the relationship if you learn how to control emotions. It takes time but it is worth it.
Be Committed to Others – Relations require commitment. We live in an era where we get and dump relationships all the time. A true commitment to others and the relationships will help you to keep that tie and hang in there when it is tough. It takes work but that is the heart of every commitment.
Don’t Sweat the Wrong Stuff – We can’t get upset when others are wrong. We can let them be wrong. It’s ok. We can agree to disagree. They have good points too.
View Through a Lens of Kindness – If we start with the idea that others have good points and good thoughts and got there with the best intentions it will allow us to be kind. When we bring kindness to our relationships, it allows us to treat others with dignity.
Keep Your Integrity – In every interaction keep your integrity. It is the one thing that makes us a person of strength and decency. Never let people upset you so much that you do something that could jeopardize it.
This is a Long-Term Gain – To build and keep and repair relationships is a long-term activity. It takes work and tough times, but the value is immeasurable over time.
Don’t Just Avoid Conflict in the Middle of the Road – Don’t be a wimp just to get along with others. That is not what it takes. Just giving in on every point doesn’t ensure the relationship will be strong. Instead, hold your own opinions but listen and give people the benefit of the doubt. Allowing another to have their own opinion means that you too can have your own.
Get Help – In the end, if the relationship cannot be worked out, get help. That investment of another professional viewpoint can make all the difference.
Challenge
Which situation can you change about yourself? Is there an assumption you’re making about someone in your life that maybe isn’t correct? Or maybe you’re putting yourself in the best situation, and the other person in a worse situation? See if some thinking about that relationship, couldn’t change some of the drama involved, and take it down. Find where you can get together and find calm and peace inside your relationship
